IN MEMORY OF MY SON DWAYNE !! MATTTHEW 26:52' PUT YOUR SWORD BACK IN ITS PLACE,' JESUS SAID TO HIM, FOR ALL WHO DRAW THE SWORD WILL DIE BY THE SWORD..

THE MOMENT DAY BY DAY SAYING THE LORD IS MY SHEPHARD  I SHALL NOT WANT. THAT IS ALL I KNOW HOW TO PRAY AND ASK GOD TO PROTECT MY SON, I HOWEVER TRIED TO SAY PSALM 91, AND THE 23 PSALMS. I REMEMBER  GOING DAY BY DAY LISTENING FOR MY SON TO CALL ME JUST TO SAY MOMMY I LOVE YOU, I WAS SO SPECIAL HEARING HIS VOICE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE, WHILE DWAYNE WAS LIVING WAS HIS SO CALLED FRIEND IN NORTH CAROLINA, MOTHERS AND FATHERS OUT THERE YOU KNOW WHEN OUR CHILDREN  BECOME A CERTAIN AGE, THEY FEEL UNSTOPABLE UN TOUCHABLE, AND VERY RESILIANT OR THEY THINK THEY DO,FOR THE MONTH OF MAY LEADING UP TO THE LAST HOUR OF MY SON LIFE, IT IS ALL GOOD MEMORIES, SOME BAD ONES TOO. NO ONE, NOT EVEN OUR CHILDREN ARE PERFECT. I LOVE ALL MY CHILDREN, BUT DWAYNE WAS VERY SPECIAL TO ME, DWAYNE WAS THE SON THAT LOVED AND RESPECTED EVERY ONJOB  CHAPTER 9.... IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME IN MAY 2000. THAT THE LORD WAS DEALING WITH ME ABOUT THE PREPRATION OF THE UP COMING DEATH OF MY SON DWAYNE. DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE LORD WAS SAYING , BUT I PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT CURSE GOD AND DIE.. I REMEMBER HAVING THE DREAM ABOUT UPCOMING DEATH OF DWAYNE AND WHEN HE SAID DWYANE WILL BE KILL AND I NEED TO GO READ THE BOOK OF JOB, I  WAS A BIT SCARED WHEN HE SEND ME  TO READ JOB AND I MEAN THOUS SAITH GOD THE WHOLE BOOK OF JOB , THEN GO READ PSALMS, I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND NOT KNOWING  THAT THERE WAS A WARNING CONCERN PREPARING ME FOR MY SON DEATH, I TURN TO MY OTHER SON AND SAID SON THE LORD WANT ME TO READ, HE SAID TO ME MOMMMY YOU DONT WANT TO READ THE BOOK OF JOB !!!, I SAID TO HIM WHY? HE SAID I AM ALREADY READ THE BOOK OF JOB. I WAS IN SHOCK TO HEAR MY NINE YEAR OLD SON TELLING HIS MOTHER ABOUT THE BOOK OF JOB,I READ THE BOOK OF JOB AND WAS IN SHOCK. HOWEVER I SHALL NOT CURSE GOD AND DIE.. THERE WAS SUCH A GRIEF AND BURDEN UPON MY SOUL ,MIND, AND BODY, I TRIED TO DO EVERYTHIG TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE GOOD AND EXPECT THE WORSE. I KEEP LIVING FOR E ESPECIALLY WOMEN. THE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE  WERE VERY SPECIAL TO HIM.. I MISS MY SON DEARLY, AFTER FINISHING WRITING  AND POURING OUT MY SOUL I AM GOING TO VISIT WHERE I HAVE LAID HIS BODY DOWN AT KENNEDY MEMORAL GARDEN.. IT ALL HAPPENED TO ME IN  DECEMBER IT WAS JUST A MONTH THAT WAS SO CLOUDY I WAS BUILDING A HOUSE , GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, PRAYING FOR MY SON LIFE AND AT THE SAME TIME ASKING GOD IS HE GOING TO BE KILLED OR IS HE GOING TO DIE OF AN ACCIDENT,  THE LORD SAITH NO , HE WILL BE KILLED BY HIS OWN, I MEAN HIS FRIEND , HIS ROOMATES, I REMEMBER IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER I WAS JUST WEEPING  IN MY HEART CRYING IN MY HEART, HEARING MY SON SAYING TO ME I LOVE YOU MOMMY I LOVE YOU, REMEMBERING HIM SAYING TO ME MOMMY CAN I SOME TO LIVE WITH YOU? WITHOUT THINKING I SAID YES DWAYNE YOU CAN COME HOME, I SAID DWAYNE I AM NOW LIVING A DIFFERENT LIFE, HE SAID WHAT LIFE MOMMY I SAID I AM A CHRISTIAN NOW A WOMAN OF GOD, AND IF YOU COME TO LIVE WITH ME YOU HAVE TO BE IN CHURCH , HE SAID MOMMY I AM A NEW CONVERT  I AM GOING THROUGH DELIVERANCE AND I AM GOING TO BE MARRIED MOMMY, I SAID WHAT? HE SAID YES I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU, THE NEXT QUESTION HE ASKED ME WAS CAN I BRING MY FIANCE WITH ME I SAID YES , HOWEVER PLEASE I AM ASKING YOU NOT TO TELL ANY ONE EVEN YOUR FRIEND THAN YOU ARE COMING HOME, OF COURSE KIDS SOMETIMES DONT UNDERSTAND THINGS THAT YOU TELL THEM BECAUSE AT 19 THEY KNOW EVERYTHING, DURING THE MONTH OF DECEMBER I WAS BEING STILL, AS IF THERE WAS SUCH A TRANSITION TAKING PLACE IN MY LIFE , DAY TEN MY SON CALLED ME AND TOLD ME HE NO LONGER WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS ROOMATES ANYMORE, I ASK HIM WHY ? HE SAID HE DONT LIKE THE IDEA OF THEM CALLING ME MOM, I ASK ROGER WHAT WAS GOING ON ? HE SAID I NEED TO TALK TO MY SON I SAID ABOUT WHAT HE SAID, MY SON STOP HANGING OUT AND DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH HIM, IT TROUBLED MY SPIRIT WITH HIS VERB. DAYS GONE BY MY SON JUST SAYING MOMMY I LOVE YOU AND I AM READY TO COME HOME AND BRING MY LOVE WITH ME,DAY FIFTEEN MY SON CALLED HI MOMMY I LOVE U SEE YOU SOON,EVERY DAY HE WOULD CALL ME TO CHECKUP ON ME LET ME KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING AND WHERE HE SAID HE IS GOING, FINALLY HE CALLED I LET HIM KNOW THAT I WILL SEND HIM THE MONEY WESTERN UNION, THAT DAY 12/23/00. MY SON CALLED EIGHT TIME THAT DAY TO LET ME KNOW HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO GO GET THE MONEY, I HEAR AGAIN I LOVE YOU MOMMY,I SAID I SEE YOU SOON, HE SAID MOMMY LISTEN TO THIS SONG I SAID WHAT SONG HE SAID R KELLY. I WISH I COULD HOLD YOU NOW, HE ASK ME IF I COULD GO AND BUY THE CD, I PROMISE I WOULD GO GET IT, HE SAID LOVE U MOM , BACK AT U, FINALLY I GET DRESS AND TOOK MY MOM OUT FOR DINNER, WHILE I WAS HAVING DINNER TWO HOURS WENT BY I DIDNT HEAR FROM HIM, I SAID TO MY MOM DWAYNE IS DEAD, RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT, I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL SOMEONE WAS GAGGING ON THE PHONE BUT NO ANSWER, I SAID TO MY MOM THAT IS DWAYNE MOMMY HE IS DEAD MY MOM SAID TO ME YOU ARE TALKING CRAZY. THIRTY MINUITES LATER ANOTHER PHONE CALL WITH A DEEP BREEDING, AND THEN THE PHONE CUT OFF, RIGHT THEN I FELT LIKE A SWORD WENT INTO MY RIGHT SIDE,I STARTED CRYING I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS FROM THE PAIN OR IT WAS HIS DEATH THAT WAS CONFIRMED TO ME, I CANNOT TELL U HOW I FELT BUT IT WAS A NOT A NICE FEELING MY WHOLE WORLD WAS FALLING APART. WITHIN AN  HOUR A FRIEND CALLED ME AND SAID A DETECTIVE WAS LOOKING FOR ME. I TOLD HER TO GIVE HIM MY NUMBER, HE CALLED ME AND I FINISH HIS SENTENCE, OF MY SON DEATH ALONG WITH HIS GIRLFRIED. MY HEART WAS SO SADDEND,THAT I CANNOT AND WILL NEVER EXPLAIN. LOOSING A LOVE ONE IS HARD, HAVING TO GO TO YOUR CHILD'S BURIAL IS NOT AN EASY TASK, FOR ALL OF U MOTHERS AND FATHERS OUT THERE FOR ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE  YOUNG AND OLD LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS.. HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY  FATHER THY THOU DAYS MAY BE LONG..